Spring Break

Spring break takes on a whole new meaning when you are the mother of two little ones.  Not that I ever went anywhere for spring break.  I was too busy shooting heroin into my veins, selling all of my belongings and alienating myself from my family and friends.  However, when you think spring break you think fun, right?  I see a big MTV party on the beach with a bunch of young bikini clad, six pack bearing college kids accesorized only with their red plastic cups.  Now picture a 34 year old woman in her pajamas at 10:00AM trying to keep her 4 and 5 year old, also still in their pajamas, from killing eachother because they've already spent enough time together and we're only half way through the week.

Does it make me a bad mom that I'm already (at 10 in the morning) feeling like locking them in separate rooms?  I think it might.  I think I should've gotten everyone dressed and ready for the day even though we had nowhere to go.  Even as I sit writing this, I should probably be getting them dressed and ready for the day.  Regardless, I will get them dressed and ready by noon because they go to lunch with my mother on Wednesdays.  An hour of peace for me.

My neighbor just called.  Guess the girls and I are going to go to the movies late this afternoon with their friends a couple house over.  A bit out of my comfort zone.  My anxiety doesn't allow me the luxury of not having a schedule.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner are always at the same time.  No matter what we do, everything is scheduled around these meals.  The movie is at 3:50.  That would mean we were in the movie at dinner time.  I said yes and we will go but this will be a difficult task for me.  When will they eat dinner, will it affect our bath and bedtime routine?  Will they be overly excited when we get home?  Or will they be overtired and crying and whining over anything and everything?  I'm such a nutcase.  I'm also concerned for no good reason that Charlie has jury duty today and will be home early.  What if he gets home early and we're at the movies?  What if he wanted to be the one to take them to see the movie?  What if he wanted to spend some time with the girls?  I won't have dinner ready for him because I won't be making dinner.  What will he eat?  Who cares?  He doesn't.  I worry about everything.  Something to work on.